Following up with post earlier this week on interacting with above line folks- or literally anyone above you for that matter. Like your mom if she were a movie producer. If there’s one single piece of advice it’s this: they can do whatever they want to you.
I don’t think I can stress this enough. While I’ve been fortunate to not ever really be reamed, I’ve clearly talked enough about a certain power play lite (like diet soda for Hollywood games) that I have some context for what I’m saying. Even the head honchos assistant, she can push back on me and I can’t do a thing. Thankfully we actually get along well- but if we didn’t both really like baseball and have similar personalities she might push back on me like she does with others. I guess maybe I’m easy to get along with and am fairly non threatening like a daddy long legs v a black widow, as I’m really not gunning for anyone’s job and that’s probably apparent. Also daddy long legs still get squashed in this house- wtf?!
But I’m still new. I’m also just a basic office assistant. I haven’t even reached boss level one yet. I’m not sure where that is, but I imagine it’s like juggling 17 really complex lunch orders and not ducking (fucking iPhone, fucking!) them up. Maybe also you have to get some coffee they only get from animals poop from Asia (this exists) for the producer and you have to do all these things in under 1h with no questions. Boss level one. Your promotion? None, maybe less complex lunch orders. Also, the producers I know would not order poop coffee- this was total hyperbole. But finding wooden stirrers at the grocery store was really hard so I just stole an entire jar of them from Starbucks- hey you gotta adapt and improvise, part of being a good assistant. I’m a good assistant. Can I have a sticker (fuck off)
What was I saying? My point, yes– you have to pay your dues. You don’t get to push back. Not against Paris. Not against those who’ve been somewhere longer than you. Not against the guy at the lot who doesn’t want to lift an extra finger. Hey why though? Because you’re basic. Thankfully my crew really appreciates my basicness. They thank me and always appreciate my hard work no matter how basic I am and make sure to say so. But they don’t have to. It’s very much appreciated.
No because once you reach a certain boss level, once you become a boss, you can do whatever you want. Paris can literally launch VPN hits on my blog like doctor Robotnik launching his ball gunner machine thing at the board of a Sonic level. He can do whatever the fuck he wants because he’s a producer. He’s the boss. I can’t say shit to him that will ever make him do what I’d like him to. Nah he’ll ignore me on principle like any good boss would!
Homeboy can’t actually be like “yep you’re right lets meet for coffee. We would get along and talk about lots of cool things. We’d have amazing smoke out sessions and jam for many hours.” What? What?! No you can’t do that, that’s no fun. It’s gotta be like three months to nine years from now when I’m on boss level two and I’ll get a text like “hey” and I’ll be like “is this my Seamless order” and he’ll be like “no this is LE BEEP.” I can’t actually tell you who he is.
Anyways that’ll probably only happen at like boss level six. Think haunted forest in Super Mario World- at least! And no cutting through the ghost house secret warp thingy.
Erm, right Paris. Yea he can do whatever he wants. But let’s face it, he wouldn’t play this game if he didn’t like it. I wouldn’t play if I didn’t like it either. But I need to get a lot more power ups, I’m like Link from Zelda with three starter hearts and he’s beaten the game three times and wrote the definitive strategy guide before going live and beating it all in ten minutes. But really, this game at this point is like a greatest hit- we should make an app. I mean, you should make an app because I don’t know how to. If I did, I’d make a lot more money.
Anyways, thanks for reading. If this is Paris, please leave a message after the tone. Oh wait, nobody uses voicemail any more. Call me bro! Or don’t, because I haven’t earned it. :-3 (what is this face). I’m not high, really. This is my stream of conscious and you can’t buy my brain in a weed shop.