I don’t want to go on about this much more, but it’s left a sour taste in my mouth- so I just wanted to address that among a few other things. This post is not of use to anyone but the person it is passively addressed to so reading this will be of little value to anyone but that person. With that said-
I want to make it absolutely clear that I never want to make anybody feel uncomfortable. I am not sure why one is so nervous or quite possibly even afraid of me.
Why do I say that? When I was waiting at that intersection, I just happened to be looking at the direction you came from. When you realized it was me, you sped up noticeably to get through even though the light was still green and there was someone going slow in front of you. I didn’t even turn my head. I didn’t look back. I was sort of just frozen because it was awkward for me too. I live around the corner from there and was just walking to the grocery store, and you drove through my neighborhood– which is fine just unexpected. But it seemed to me that you wanted to get out of that situation so fast simply because you want to avoid me that badly. Which is also why I have posted photos etc. of my area so you can avoid if you so choose.
I am not sure how to ever convince you that I am harmless. Assuming you might also live in the area, please know I would never look up where you live. In fact just typing that puts a really bad taste in my mouth because to do so would be fucking crazy. I don’t care where you live. I don’t care what you do. In fact, I wouldn’t really care if you ran into me either. But I respect that you’re uneasy about me. I’m not really sure why other than you’ve never really given me the chance to sit in front of you and show you I’m not. I know you won’t want to do that so I guess this just really puts things at an impasse for now.
So I have to ask- how does this end? Are you following me with the hopes that maybe one day there will be a time when it’s appropriate to reach out? Are you just unsure of what to say? Are you avoiding because you’re not actively working, or view my position as too low to be worth your time? It’s wrong of me to assume anything. I respect you and don’t want to bother or unnerve you. In fact it’s an assumption too that you quickly wanted to get out of that situation, and equally an assumption that you even saw me (although you looked right at me).
I just want you to know we can hit the reset button. We don’t ever have to bring this passive interaction up. We can just skip all over that. I do really believe it would be worthwhile to meet. I will become a professional writer– it is a matter of when, not if. I am doing very well, and I wouldn’t be in this position without your encouragement. But please know that I would never force an interaction. I would never ever do anything to make you feel uncomfortable. In accordance with that, I am patient and willing to wait for however long it takes for you to feel comfortable enough to reach out to me. Please know that I am harmless, I wish you well. Sorry if even writing this has made you upset. I’m just doing the best I can to communicate in a less than perfect and ideal way 🙂